What a surreal time we’re living in.

I haven’t blogged in quite some time, my phone notes are full of half written posts. Notes to my daughter, little thoughts I wanted to remember, milestones I wanted to write about but thought no one would care, but now seems a good time. There are a lot of posts out there already about the current situation. And to be honest, a lot of them probably say something similar to this; but sometimes it’s nice to write, to let some thoughts escape, to free up some head space, so read on if you’d like, I’m not offended if you leave now, I’m sure some people are avoiding virus chat at all costs.

It’s mother’s day 2020, a lot of us had our plans disrupted, a lot of our loved ones may feel unseen but a lot of precautions are being taken to protect our vulnerable family members. It’s hard, being distant from those who play a major part in your life.

Mothers day 2019 was my first ever mothers day. It’s a day I’ll never forget. I sat in my living room, just like this morning, only I had a new born baby and a midwife by my side. Similar to today, I sat there, listening to words I just couldn’t take in. My baby was ‘failing to thrive.’ Fast-forward to this year and I can’t help but think of our world right now. Failing to thrive. Even with trying our best, it seems like everything is going wrong. Just how I felt a year ago. Helpless, hopeless, fearful of the future.

Today, I relate to these feeling, as I’m sure a lot in our community do too. Life is so strange. We see images on our social media and are bombarded hourly with news updates. We’re living in a panic-stricken society, bulk buying, working from home, staying away from our loved ones for the fear they will get ill; yet at the same time teens are gathering in parks and beaches, thinking schools out for summer, let the party begin, families are flocking to the beaches, a lot of people are living as normal, aiding the spread of the virus.

It’s a time of uncertainty, but together we can get through this, together we can protect each other. If you don’t have to go to your place of work, or to the shops, don’t! The more people we are in contact with, the more people we could potentially infect.

When I look back on the past year, I think about how much my daughter has changed. From that tiny baby, failing to thrive; to a chatty, vibrant toddler, full of life. I think of myself as a mother, fearful, anxious, upset but now, each day is filled with joy, watching my daughter grow. Reflecting on that uncertain time in my own life gives me hope in these widespread times of uncertainty. Things will get better.

This morning I sat in the living room and watched church online, it was odd, seeing people we normally see weekly, not knowing when we will see them in person again; however, I was encouraged. I know telling people not to fear is a little redundant right now, but hand over your fear to God, he’s got this… And if you aren’t a church-goer, know that there are many out there, praying, and hoping for the future. No one here knows what tomorrow will bring, but we know the one who does.

So instead of feeling hopeless, lets fill our lives with hope for the future. Instead of feeling helpless, think how you can help others throughout this, whether it’s staying at home and distancing to protect others, running a short errand for your elderly neighbour and leaving essentials on their doorstep or calling up your friends for a chat to keep the normality of life going.

If anyone fancies a chat, you can find me on Instagram @ashleigh_mcconkey

This may be the middle of a storm, but storms pass.

Stay safe. Stay home.