I’m writing this from a place of tiredness. My body is tired, my mind is tired and my motivation to get up and go has got up and went. Even though I said I wouldn’t, I got caught up. Caught up with the new year, new start crew. Yesterday I felt like I was walking on air. “I’m not even tired” I kept exclaiming to my husband as I just kept doing things. I went to work, got home, immediately started dinner, done the grocery shop, prepared the lunches, walked the dog and then I made hot chocolates and finally sat down with my husband at 9.45pm. Well when I say sat down, I pranced around the house trying to reach my step goal, if you know you know! While we walked the dog we chatted about our baby, which swiftly led to my post baby weight loss plan, which led to the prancing around and becoming obsessed with a goal that 1 day previous I’d sworn not to make.

Some people curse social media, they say it puts unnecessary pressure on us to compare, or conform. Just this morning I read an article on how an obsession with the Kardashian’s is ruining lives…honestly I believe in some cases this is true, but social media doesn’t bombard us unless we’ve chosen to see that content. On each platform we choose to follow accounts which we like or find beneficial. We choose. So if we choose to follow accounts that create an unhealthy mindset or make us strive for an unrealistic goal, it’s on us. At the end of the day, we apply the pressure that we ultimately crumble under. There is no one out there saying you must look like Kim (ok well there probably is, but that’s just rude). Instead people out there are saying, “ohh look how great she looks” and that’s where the pressure begins. We compare, compare our lives, compare our size, we think she looks great because she does X, Y & Z to achieve it; and then we say, I’m going to do that too and I’ll be just like her.

We are bombarded with celebs, who lets be honest, it’s in their professional interests to look flawless 24/7. There is so much external pressure on them to maintain a certain look, shape, weight to enable their agents to get them work. We don’t see that side of things in the glossy magazines, we don’t see the effects of the pressures until it’s too late and they are being slandered on the front pages.

We don’t have those pressures. Our lives are our own. I’ve said so many times that I don’t want to put pressure on myself after baby is born, but there I was/am, getting sucked in, worrying about what others would think of me next summer if I wasn’t back to my former frame. I was bombarded with my own pressure. I didn’t want my husband to think less of me for not getting back to my usual self, I didn’t want my family to think I wasn’t trying hard enough, and internally I was comparing myself to everyone I know who’s bounced back after having a baby.

Comparison is the thief of joy, and no one needs that. The thoughts I was having are completely normal, I’m sure a million mums to be have been where I was, but it’s silly. Silly to think that way about people who love you so dearly, silly to think that way about yourself, your body, the one that’s growing your baby.

I met my husband when I was much heavier than I am now at 31 weeks pregnant; he loved me how I was then, he loved me at my lightest, and he definitely loves me now as I grow our baby. So the intrusive thoughts that clouded my judgement were wrong. My husband will still love me, baby weight or not!

I resolved to make no resolutions this year, I even wrote a whole blog post, I lied. Deep down inside I was already pressuring myself to fit into the goals preset by society. Comparing myself to everyone out there, even strangers pushing prams in the street! So I’m resetting. I’m using this week as a free trial. A week to work out the kinks and get my head in the right place. Instead of exhausting myself trying to fulfil #newyearnewme I’m aiming to achieve #NewYearBeMe

I feel that taking this approach this year is so important, especially when the arrival of a baby guarantees the arrival of a whole other host of emotions including the dreaded mum-guilt.

This needs to be a year where I 100% try to do what is best for me-and for baby, not comparing my situations to others, not trying to do things a certain way because that’s what people online say is best. Just me, finding out what works for me as I begin this journey into the unknown. No pressure, just joy. As I said in my previous blog, I want to enjoy my time with baby, I want to love every single minute we spend together, without any added pressures to mother a certain way, or look skinny and stylish as I do so. I’ll be the type of Mum that I naturally become, that’s the only type of Mum my baby needs.

Dr Seuss puts it beautifully:

Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you!

So join in my 2019 goal: Be you. No one else can do it better.